The Weary, Imperfect Warrior: Elizabeth Cady Stanton Part One

Hey everyone, welcome back. 

 

On October 27, 1902 an article appeared in the The New York Times announcing the death of one of the most formidable champions of suffrage in the nineteenth century, Elizabeth Cady Stanton. Even in the abbreviated treatment of her eighty-six years, it was clear from the Times obituary that the country - and women - had lost a truly transformative figure, quote: “with her work as an anti-slavery advocate and claimant for women’s rights, she also found time to devote to the cause of temperance,” end quote. 

 

First introduced to the idea of equality through the abolitionist movement as a young adult, Elizabeth Cady Stanton spent her life pushing for the recognition of rights of her fellow women. She was occasionally too ahead of her time and some of her ideas were not always welcome. She made a number of mistakes in her quest to bring about equality for women - but she remained always committed to her north star. Stanton was one of the most influential - and certainly one of the most well preserved - voices of the nineteenth century. Elizabeth Cady Stanton wore many hats in her lifetime - so much so that it would be unfair to try to fit her contributions into a single episode. 

 

So this week I am starting my look into the life of Elizabeth Cady Stanton. What did her childhood look like? And how did she get involved in the women’s rights movement? 

 

Grab your cup of coffee, peeps. Let’s do this. 

 

Elizabeth Cady was born on November 12, 1815 in Johnstown, New York. Entering a large family, Elizabeth was the eighth of ten children, evenly split between boys and girls. The household was likely quite a bit to handle and the Cady matriarch, Margaret Livingston, benefitted from enslaved labor while Elizabeth’s father, Daniel Cady, served as Supreme Court Judge. The Cady family went through a significant amount of heartbreak as each of the boys born into the family passed away - leaving the elder Cady with any male heirs or anyone to pass on his legal training. Writing her memoirs as an older woman, Elizabeth recalled the moment her last living brother passed away and the grief her father displayed. As the then-11 year old Elizabeth went to comfort her father, he could only wish that his little girl was somehow a little boy. Likely in an effort to please her father and ease his burden, the young Elizabeth replied quote, “I will try to be all that my brother was,” end quote. 

 

Elizabeth credited her brother’s death as the moment she decided that she would focus all of her efforts on education. She would no longer engage in the unsilly business of play, but strive to study hard and rank at the top of her classes. Elizabeth initially attended a coed institution as a child before being forced into the Willards Academy, an all-girls school as a teen. This was a decision Elizabeth was not happy with. Despite the school being one of the more rigorous programs available to young women in the United States at the time, Elizabeth felt her education was subpar and advocated for the benefits of coed schooling later in life. 

 

Elizabeth met the man who would become her husband and partner for nearly five decades, Henry Stanton, while visiting her cousin. Henry was an active member of the abolitionist movement and the couple were immediately smitten with each other - declaring their love and their intent to marry only weeks after meeting. In an era before 30 day fiance, a two-week engagement was outside of the ordinary and raised some red flags. Elizabeth’s father, the Supreme Court Judge - and enslaver, Daniel Cady - was not exactly thrilled at the idea of his daughter getting involved with an abolitionist - let alone marrying one - and he was not supportive of the couple’s union. Although the couple initially tried to ignore the noise, they did briefly part ways under the pressure - only to come back together after a more respectable amount of time passed and marrying on May 1, 1840 at Elizabeth’s family home in Johnstown. 

 

The wedding was a small affair and the bride wore what was described as a simple white dress with only a few friends and family in attendance. Foreshadowing the type of woman he was marrying, Elizabeth refused to commit to obeying her husband in her vows. Not long after their wedding the couple was heading overseas where Henry had abolitionist work to attend to and the newly minted Mrs. Stanton would get introduced to a movement and to a group of women who would alter the course of her life. The couple arrived in London just in time to attend the World Anti-Slavery Convention which for Stanton, historian and biographer Ellen Carol DuBois explains was quote, “the beginning of her exposure to the abolitionist women who had laid the groundwork for the women’s rights movement she was to go on to build,” end quote. At the convention Stanton would meet Lucretia Mott and the two bonded over their shared anger that women were not given any speaking slots at the convention. In their commiseration, the duo decided they would host their own convention - this one focused on women’s rights - upon their return to the United States. 

 

And if you’ve listened to the podcast for a while now, then you know I covered Seneca Falls a few years back - I’ve gone ahead and linked it to the show notes of this episode for those who haven’t had a chance to listen just yet. 

 

Elizabeth’s time overseas was also her first entry point into an environment that was open to her breaking with convention and sharing opinions that contradicted traditional views. And while this was nice for Elizabeth in developing her ideas around women’s equality, it came with what historian Ellen Carol DuBois tells us was Elizabeth’s quote unquote “nascent nativist instincts.” Although known for her racist comments after universal suffrage efforts failed to materialize during Reconstruction, Elizabeth had a longer habit of diminishing immigrants and leaning in to racist stereotypes. These comments generally flared up when Elizabeth was facing a political setback or just went through a catastrophic legal loss - and her comments were mostly directed toward men - but she made them. Repeatedly. Yet despite this, the women in London saw that Elizabeth had potential. Elizabeth - who knew very little of abolition other than what her new husband taught her - became fascinated by the cause and dove head first into learning what she could. The trip overseas lasted six months and upon returning to the United States, the young couple lived with her parents. 

 

Henry - perhaps trying to win over his reluctant father in law - agreed to join his practice and quote “commence the study of law,” end quote. The couple eventually started a family, with their first child, a son they named Daniel - after Henry’s grandfather - in 1842. Elizabeth would eventually have seven children - all of whom lived to adulthood. Like most new parents, Elizabeth had to adjust to the new life of motherhood and suffered through the agony of watching her infant - whom she called Neil - battled through two bouts of whooping cough. In an era where infant mortality was still an issue, watching her son struggle undoubtedly put additional strain on Elizabeth who was also trying to recover from giving birth. Luckily, the little boy recovered and for over the next two decades, Elizabeth would give birth another six times. 

 

Raising a family always poses a challenge and the Stantons were no different. Henry was busy building his career and despite the gendered expectations of the day, Elizabeth remained interested in advancing the cause for women, planning and hosting the women’s rights convention in Seneca Falls in 1848. Attempting to straddle both worlds, however, was quite a challenge. Ask any modern mother and I think most will say that trying to juggle a career, life, and caring for children is overwhelming and difficult in the best of circumstances. In the nineteenth century - when women were expected to be content with raising children and being dutiful wives with no other intellectual interests or ambitions - attempting to carve out a space for yourself could feel impossible - and infuriating. For Elizabeth - who was married to an ambitious man focused on building his political career - there was likely a little frustration - and maybe even a little jealousy - about the unfair expectations placed on her shoulders. As historian Ellen Carol DuBois explains quote, “the deepest source of her resentment of male dominance, like that of so many women’s rights pioneers, came from the constraints the larger society placed on the tremendous intellectual ability, ambition, and energy of women like her,” end quote. 

 

Despite the gendered limitations, Elizabeth continued to engage in women’s rights activities where she could. As Henry was elected to the New York Legislature in 1850, Elizabeth was contributing articles for the first American newspaper owned, edited, and published by a woman, Lily. Initially writing under a pseudonym, Elizabeth contributed an article to almost every edition of the newspaper until it relocated in 1853. And while Elizabeth enjoyed being a wife and mother she was deeply committed to the work of championing women’s rights and needed some help. Luckily, Elizabeth found someone who became an extended part of their family in the body of 16 year old Amelia Willard. Reflecting on their relationship in her memoirs later, Elizabeth wrote that Amelia was quote, “indeed a treasure, a friend and a comforter, a second mother to my children, and understood all life’s duties and gladly bore its burdens. She could fill any department in domestic life, and for thirty years was the joy of our household. But for this noble, self-sacrificing woman, much of my public work would have been quite impossible,” end quote. 

 

Around the time that Elizabeth hired Amelia she would meet the woman who would become her confidant, friend, and partner in championing women’s equality - Susan B. Anthony. An indication of just how important Susan was to Elizabeth is the fact when it came to the dedication of her memoir, she chose to spotlight her friend, writing quote: “I dedicate this volume to Susan B. Anthony, my steadfast friend for a half a century,” end quote. The two women were different: Elizabeth was married with a large family - sometimes her attention diverted due to family obligations; Susan was a single woman - and would remain so throughout her life - intensely focused on the women’s cause. Despite these differences, their goals aligned and they connected in a way that only the best of friends can. Writing about the relationship, Elizabeth compared it to a marriage quote, “so entirely one are we that, in all our associations, ever side by side on the same platform, not one feeling of envy or jealousy has ever shadowed our lives. We have indulged freely in criticism of each other when alone, and hotly contended whenever we have differed, but in our friendship of years there has never been the break of one hour. To the world we always seem to agree and uniformly reflect each other. Like husband and wife, each has the feeling that we must have no difference in public,” end quote. 

 

The duo wasted no time in getting to work and in April 1852, Susan helped her friend get elected as president of New York State’s Women’s Temperance Society. As president of the Temperance Society, when Elizabeth heard that the legislators were considering making changes to the state’s divorce laws to make them more lenient, she wanted to advocate they consider adding intemperance as an available divorce option. Pushing to liberalize divorce was something ahead of its time and was a choice that Elizabeth knew would cause a bit of controversy. Regardless, in a theme that would repeat throughout her life, she remained steadfast in her belief that hers was the correct course of action and refused to back away from her advocacy. When members of the Temperance Society expressed reservations about the decision in Elizabeth’s absence, Susan came to her defense and got the group to pass the resolution in support of the divorce proposal. 

 

Elizabeth followed up her divorce proposal with a larger, more robust campaign for an expansion of women’s rights in 1853. In addition to pushing for women’s right to vote, Elizabeth also hoped to present petitions supporting women retaining greater economic rights, such as maintaining ownership of their wages. Before presenting her case to the decision makers in Albany, however, Elizabeth decided to run it by the one man for whom approval was paramount - her father. After listening to her line out the ways in which women were treated as unequal, the elder judge - nearing retirement - decided to help his daughter refine her arguments which were broken into the separate phases of a woman’s life: as a single person, a wife, a mother, and a widow. Initially planning to present her list to the legislators in Albany, Elizabeth changed her mind, instead reading it at a women's rights meeting beforehand. 

 

As Elizabeth worked to develop her voice and path in the field of women’s rights, her husband Henry continued to flourish in his political career. As the country inched closer to Civil War, Henry joined the newly formed Republican Party and quickly became one of its leaders. Although excited for and supportive of her husband’s career growth, it was understandably frustrating to watch his professional star continue to raise unabated when Elizabeth felt she had to overcome any number of hurdles just to be able to write a draft of an article. Elizabeth later confessed to her friend Susan quote, “As I contrast his freedom with my bondage and feel that, because of the false position of woman, I have been compelled to hold all my noblest aspirations in abeyance in order to be a wife, a mother, a nurse, a cook, a household drudge, I am fired anew and long to pour forth from my own experience the whole story of woman’s wrongs,” end quote. 

 

Although Elizabeth wanted to get more involved in the public business of activism, her children were still young and even with the help of Amelia Willard, still required their mother. Thus, Elizabeth was sidelined - forced to take on a supportive role as her friend and partner Susan got more involved in the abolitionist movement - helping her prepare lectures and speeches. Fate would shine its good fortune on Elizabeth again in 1858 when she became the first woman ever invited to speak at the Fraternity Lecture Course in Boston. It was absolutely essential that she not only show up, but that she give a speech that was memorable and impactful. Elizabeth was getting prepared for one of the biggest moments in her public life when she discovered that she was pregnant for the seventh time. At the age of 43, Elizabeth may have believed she was done with having babies, but mother nature had other plans. Unfortunately for Elizabeth, despite her other pregnancies going relatively smoothly, this time around she found that she was constantly ill and weak. After trying to fight through it, Elizabeth ultimately decided that she had no other choice - she had to cancel her appearance. 

 

But under no circumstance was she going to disclose the real reason. Telling organizers that her suitcase was stolen, Elizabeth later admitted in a letter to her cousin quote, “the maternal difficulty has always been one of the arguments against woman entering public life, I did not like the idea that I, who had a hundred times declared that difficulty to be absurd, should illustrate in my own person the contrary thesis. It was all too humiliating to disclose,” end quote. Elizabeth knew that if she admitted that she could not travel and make the appearance due to a difficult pregnancy, she risked negatively impacting the case for women’s rights. It was a tremendous amount of pressure to be under and a decision that undoubtedly pained her to make, but it also demonstrated her commitment to the cause and her ability - in this instance - to put the movement ahead of her own personal achievement. The tension of being a wife and mother while also trying to be an activist continued to be a theme in Elizabeth’s life - but Elizabeth - and the rest of the country - was about to have their worlds turned upside down as the nation devolved into Civil War. 

 

As it turned out, the war would prompt Elizabeth and Susan to make a larger push for human rights - but we’ll save that for next time. 

 

Be sure to come back next where I will wrap up my coverage of Elizabeth Cady Stanton. And a preview of a special programming note - I have a little something special planned for the episode dropping on July 4th in recognition of the nation’s 250th - so I hope you all have Civics & Coffee saved as your favorite podcast so you can hear it as soon as it releases. 

 

Thanks, peeps. I will see you next time.