The Vanishing First Lady: Lucretia Garfield

Hey Everyone. Welcome back. 

Recovering from a nasty bout of malaria by the seaside in New Jersey, First Lady Lucretia Garfield was not expecting the telegram that arrived on that July afternoon that would permanently change her life. A woman who had always been considered shy, reserved, and self-assured, the First Lady steeled herself and hurried back to DC to be by the bedside of the man she’d been married to for 22 years. For several weeks, Mrs. Garfield sat vigil - earning the adoration of a bereft nation - as her husband slowly succumbed to infection. 

Just when you thought I had tied a bow on the whole Garfield saga, I am back with one final chapter. No coverage of a president in the Civics & Coffee universe is complete without at least an episode dedicated to the woman - or women - who helped make their careers possible. So this week, I am diving into one and only Lucretia “Crete” Garfield. What did she think of her husband’s political career? How did their differences almost drive them apart? And how did the former first lady spend her widowhood? 

Grab your cup of coffee, peeps. Let’s do this. 

Lucretia Rudolph entered the world on April 19, 1832 in Garretsville, Ohio - the eldest of four children born to Arabella Mason and her carpenter husband Zeb Rudolph, who was also the leader of the Disciples of Christ sect in nearby Hiram. The patriarch seems to have been a bit of a jack of all trades, as my sources also indicated he farmed his land as well. Named after her maternal grandmother, Lucretia would come to be known by her nickname Crete by her loved ones and as the eldest, took on the responsibility of helping out around the house while her mother reared her younger siblings. The future First Lady was very shy and reserved even in her youth - with some describing her as cold. And while the Rudolph family provided a loving home, it was not an overly affectionate one - something that would create points of tension in her future romantic relationship with James Garfield. 

Religion and education were treated as highly important in the Rudolph household and education was stressed as equally important for both the boys and girls in the family, something that remained a bit of an outlier. Thus, Lucretia benefitted from a robust education and appreciated a life long commitment to learning - something she shared with her future husband. She also enjoyed a healthy appetite for reading, saying once quote, “it would be of about as much use to stop breathing as to let books alone if they are anywhere in the region about me. I have to read,” end quote. Although Lucretia’s parents initially began her education within her local district, they eventually decided that she needed to continue her studies at an institution with more rigorous standards that perhaps offered a bit more of a challenge. Thus, they enrolled their daughter into a Seminary about 20 miles northeast from their home - which is where Lucretia first met James Garfield. Due to its distance, Lucretia lived on site, boarding with other girls and enjoyed the seminary’s curriculum which included lessons in Latin, philosophy, and math. 

In the fall of 1850, Lucretia next enrolled in the co-ed Western Reserve Eclectic Institute in Hiram, Ohio where her father was on the board of trustees and also a major supporter. The institute’s program was a bit more challenging and in addition to her studies, Lucretia sang in the glee club, helped organize a literary society that hosted debates and skits as well as edited the school magazine The Eclectic Star which she also contributed essays and sketches to. Lucretia had an independent mind - once authoring an essay arguing for equal pay for women. During her time at the Institute, Lucretia also reconnected with James, however both were otherwise spoken for - James was said to be courting a young woman, Mary Hubbell, described as quote unquote flirtatious, while Crete had her eyes on a man named Albert Hall. 

And while Lucretia may have been toying with the idea of a suitor, she was not relying on marriage. Perhaps aware of her reputation for being cold, or the result of her being incredibly shy, Lucretia wanted to ensure that she would not become a burden on her family should a marriage proposal to a decent young suitor never materialize. Thus, she was committed to her education and developing her skills to become an educator. When she and James both found themselves unattached in 1853, the duo took notice of each other in more than a platonic manner. It is believed that they shared their first kiss in February of 1854 and thus began a long, awkward, sometimes strained courtship. Garfield, who grew up in a different set of circumstances, was very unsure of exactly how Lucretia felt about him. He began writing love letters to Lucretia - in what would eventually amount to some 1,200 over the course of their relationship - sharing his feelings.

Once Lucretia finished school, she began her teaching career as she always planned. In her free time, she continued to develop herself taking painting and piano classes and attending the theater. The couple wed in 1858 - considered a rather prolonged courtship for the era - despite the fact that Garfield himself was unsure if he was ready to be a husband or father, at least not to Lucretia. Although she was not prone to outward displays of affection, Lucretia had shared her private journal with her fiance ahead of their nuptials which laid plain the depth of her feelings for her future husband. Garfield realized that he had been worried about her lack of love for no reason - but his constant fretting had taken its toll and on the their wedding day, the groom had his doubts, later recording in his diary quote, “I am not certain I feel just as I ought toward her. I have the most entire confidence in her purity of heart, conscientiousness and trustfulness and truly love her qualities of mind and heart. But there is no delirium of passion nor overwhelming power of feeling that draws me to her irresistibly,” end quote. Not exactly the kind of tender loving words you want to hear around your wedding. 

The lack of passion on Garfield’s end was something his wife was keenly aware of and created a sense of insecurity, making her wonder if the marriage was not more a product of duty than love. The first few years of the Garfield marriage did nothing to dissuade these insecurities as the couple spent hardly any time together - just twenty weeks in the first five years. They seemed to make the most of their brief time together, with Lucretia giving birth to their first child Eliza “Little Trot” Arrabella on July 3, 1860, followed by Harry Augustus on October 11, 1863. Garfield’s extended absences also meant he was a little slow in adjusting to his role as father, but he soon came to adore his children - which made it all the more devastating when the young couple lost Trot to Diphtheria when she was still a toddler in December of 1863.  

Garfield’s absences also almost ruined his marriage in 1864 when he had an affair with a New York Tribune reporter Lucia Calhoun. He spent a month in New York with his new paramour, convinced that he had fallen in love before coming home and confessing to his wife. Understandably wrecked at hearing such devastating news - especially while trying to raise their small family - Lucretia chose to forgive her husband and asked only that he end the relationship. Deeply ashamed of his actions, Garfield agreed - despite feeling that by ending the affair he was risking ending his chance at true love. Strangely, his infidelity brought the couple closer together as Garfield saw his wife in a new light. Instead of someone who was cold and reserved, James saw in Lucretia a woman who was resolved and strong - able to overcome seemingly insurmountable hurdles. He began to really fall in love with his wife. 

As James went off to the Civil War, the couple purchased their first home and with her father’s help, Lucretia took to improving the home to prepare for her husband’s return. Lucretia was known to have an eye for interior design, but was also pragmatic and able to stick within a reasonable budget. Throughout the years, it would fall on Lucretia - and not James - to oversee the construction and renovation projects for the family home. The war made Garfield more appreciative of home and family and the couple continued to grow closer as a result. Their family grew as well - the couple welcome son James “Jimmie” Rudolph on October 17, 1865, daughter Mary also known as Mollie on January 16, 1867, Irvin McDowell on August 3, 1879, Abram known as Nabor on November 21, 1872, and finally Edward - who they called Neddie - on December 26, 1874. Neddie died from whooping cough in November 1876 - just shy of his second birthday. 

When her husband was elected to Congress, Crete became responsible for managing two households - their homebase in Hiram during the summer and fall and a residence in D.C. for when Congress was in session. The family initially rented a place before buying a home in 1869. Sharing their passion of learning, the Garfield’s instilled in their children the value of education and took advantage of their time in D.C., supplementing their school days with trips to the Smithsonian. Although Lucretia was dedicated to her role as wife and mother, as an educated woman she sometimes struggled with the limitations placed on her gender. She once quipped she was quote “obliged to spend the largest time the victim of young barbarians,” end quote and once admitted in a letter to her husband that her children quote “torment the life out of me sometimes,” end quote. 

Despite their somewhat rocky beginnings, the Garfields evolved into a solid partnership. Crete became a sounding board for her husband and helped him craft pieces of public remarks. But she very much avoided the public spotlight. Crete had no desire to be the belle of the ball or the top of D.C. social scene; she was much more comfortable with her nose in a book and thus joined a literary society with her husband where she enjoyed talks by authors, artists, and musicians. Although she had no interest in being First Lady, Lucretia knew who she married, writing to friends quote, “You know, the truth is, I really don’t want to go to that place, but I really believe that my husband is the right man to lead the country,” end quote. When Garfield won the election, Lucretia realized she did not have a dress suitable for a presidential inauguration. Wanting to avoid attention, the future First Lady traveled under an alias while also trying to discreetly gather political intelligence on her husband’s behalf. Her trip was almost unbearable for the president-elect who reflected about his lack of sleep in his diary on January 31st, 1881 quote “the prolonged absence of Crete, when I so greatly need to consult her on several subjects about which she will bring me intelligence is a part of the cause of insomnia. I have no doubt I have grown morbid over her long absence,” end quote. 

Upon her return, Crete did voice her opinions about a few cabinet choices. She voted against Wisconsin Congressman Thaddeus Pound due to his wife’s earlier indiscretions, but was in favor of her husband’s selection of James G. Blaine - partly due to his decision to marry his then-pregnant girlfriend. The new First Lady also displayed her independent streak early when she made it clear that she would not be following in the footsteps of her predecessor and would resume alcohol service at the White House - much to the consternation of prohibition supporters. 

Mrs. Garfield spent only a short few weeks as First Lady before being struck with a serious bout of malaria in May. She traveled to New Jersey in June for recovery before getting the telegram about her husband that forever changed her life. Still not fully recovered, the First Lady steeled herself to hurry back to be by her husband’s bedside where she sat patiently for weeks. Her actions of the course of these weeks - her steady resolve, her refusal to break - won over the hearts and minds of Americans. After Garfield’s death, the First Lady received hundreds of letters, poems, and tributes - all expressing their sympathy. The press labeled her Discrete Crete and the Vanishing First Lady as she shied away from reporters. As far Lucretia was concerned, it was her husband who was the public servant - she had no need for publicity. 

After putting on what press reports dubbed the funeral of the century in Cleveland, Lucretia focused her energy on raising their children - whose ages ranged from 8 to 18 - and improving on their family farm. She also focused her energy on trying to preserve her husband’s memory. She created the first presidential library with the assistance of architect Forrest Coburn, former presidential secretary Joseph Stanley Brown, and her sons Hal and Jim. Brown was responsible for collecting and collating Garfield’s papers while her sons had the task of arranging their father’s books on the shelves. Of the work on the home, Lucretia later wrote to her son Abram quote, “I somehow feel that the house is a much more interesting monument to your father’s memory than anything that can be built merely as a monument, and I want it to be worthy of him,” end quote. One goal Lucretia had that she never got to finish was to write a biography of her husband - but she also had the forethought to preserve such a massive quantity of primary source material that I think we can all forgive her. 

Outliving her husband by over three decades, Lucretia got involved in several civic activities later in life including establishing a literary society, becoming a trustee of Hiram College, and helping out the Red Cross during World War I. She also began traveling west to warmer climates during the winter, spending a few months in Southern Pasadena - eventually buying herself a winter home in 1903 or 1904. Lucretia Garfield passed away on March 13, 1918 - just a month shy of her 86th birthday from pneumonia. She lived to see 16 grandchildren and the obituary printed in the Cleveland Plain Dealer read quote, “She gave her heart to her children and as they worked out their destinies, she devoted herself to charity and helpful acts of kindness that endeared her to many,” end quote. 

Lucretia Garfield was a woman who was contemplative, independent, and resilient. She was not prone to emotional outbursts and she did not actively seek out the attention of national office, but she was a woman who understood the gravity and history of the role of First Lady and was someone who was deeply dedicated to ensuring her family was protected. She was her husband’s sound board, his rock, and steward of his legacy. I’d say she is anything but a vanishing First Lady. 

Thanks, peeps. I’ll see you next time.